You might gulp at the very idea of catching up with relatives over the summer, or having that dinner party that you’ve been putting off for the last 6 months but it’s nagging at you that it’s your turn and you feel the pressure burning. What’s even worse is that those who you are going to be inviting are seasoned pros to the world of posh snacks, canapes (not sausages on sticks!), champagne (not squash in a beaker), linen serviettes (not paper napkins)….matching serving dishes, garnishes, soft music v Eminem…the list clearly is endless and you are without a clue as to where to begin!
It’s OK clearly if it’s like minded friends – there’s no pressure as to whether you drink beer from the bottle or a glass, nor does it matter if the chicken leg needs to go back onto the BBQ – perish the thought however if you’re trying to impress! No doubt you’ll go to the closest fru fruey organic supermarket and fill your trolley to the extent that you need to take out a second mortgage and end up with enough to feed an army…..yet you’re not quite sure what to do with any of it once you get home!
Determined to be endlessly welcoming and masterfully unflappable, to be hailed the goddess of the kitchen and a dab hand at the art of entertaining you battle through the list longer than your Facebook poke pile! In your mind you welcome your guests, perfectly manicured and coiffured. The air of peace and tranquility flowing through your home will be the envy of the neighbourhood and the sight of the chi-chi delights being served by your perfectly turned out teenagers is barely short of supernatural.
The reality of course is far more likely to be last minute panic as your guests arrive and you still have wet hair, your dress isn’t ironed, the washing up isn’t done and your “alpha” male is still playing on the Wii. You hear their stomach’s rumble as your teenager opens the door and yells “Mum, are you out of the shower yet?” for all to hear.
The evening goes from bad to worse as you notice in his effort to be helpful, your other half has bypassed the posh Walkers crisps and instead stumbled upon the hula hoops for the kids picnic you’ve planned for later in the week and then dumped them into a mixing bowl; has handed out lemonade in cans and proclaims that the Wii sport challenge is on with the other males in the room…much to your 15 year old’s delight!
You notice the fairy lights are unlit – that was the one thing you had asked of someone else to do, and there is no music, the plumped up sofa has been sat on pre the guests’ arrival and you’ve only just noticed the dead flowers on the mantle piece and the thick layer of dust across the bookshelves!
Yes we’ve all had our share of seismic blunders at these social functions, we can comfortably say they range from uncontrollably gagging on a trendy ostrich and quale’s egg canape through to the burst of fake laughter and the uncomfortable silence. It happens.
Joking aside, there are some websites that offer top dinner party tips from how to lay the table, what drinks to serve and general dinner party knowhow.
The solution other than that? I’m not sure there is one – don’t have friends? Stick to that which you know?…. or maybe go down the route of that which you are comfortable with and make it clear from the outset what to expect – if it’s going to be a laid back BBQ, say so – don’t put undue pressure on yourself as it will ruin the entire event and you’ll just have a throbbing credit card bill at the end of it, not to mention the need for marriage counselling!
I’m not one for keeping up appearances, I really can’t go the Mrs Bucket route as I’d rather enjoy our friends and have never been very good at false airs and graces. Manners yes but pretence no. I’d be lying to say I didn’t enjoy pushing the boat out, I love to throw a fab party and make sure everyone rolls home with more than an “elegant sufficiency” however, I never push it further than my own comfort and that which I know…. even when it is “one of those occasions” that are just inevitable once or twice in a lifetime!
So, make an effort but be yourself. Make your guests feel special but not uncomfortable because you are so stressed. And don’t get into debt over it – there’s really no need, especially not at the moment! …I tell you what you do need – and that’s to enjoy life and the people in yours!
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